Holidays are no fun.
I want something to do during the holidays, and that something excludes watching loser TV programmes at home everyday.
And because everyone's just so busy, I need a job.
I need the cash and I badly need something to fill my time.
I'd rather be paid in exchange for my time.

I FEEL SOOOO JADED.

Anyway, I was so mad today!
HE got to the second interview SO EASILY!

"The only way to go around these things is to lie your way through it."

How ironic. So tell me, dearest successful applicant, is dishonesty something you look for in a prospective employee if you were, say, an employer? Because if it is, then I should have lied about every single thing.

"If you want the job badly, you have to do ANYTHING in order to get it."

Maybe I should start sleeping with everyone to get my way. Maybe I should resort to violence and stoop so low just to get something I want.

While waiting for the Caramel Frap we ordered, he was all telling me to "relax".
I'm not overreacting, but it's my first job interview, so spare me the politics. Lying just won't do for me. I'm such a bad liar. Every single lie I uttered has been found out.

I'm NOT jealous okay!
I would love to have him get the job. (I CAN GET DISCOUNTS. HURRAH!)
I'm just a little pissed, realising I hadn't made it because I didn't lie enough.

I'm sorry. Must be the heat.

It's such a heaty night, eh?
I'm bored staying home all the time. Can't wait for lunch at Mdm Farida's place next week Can't wait to just get my ass out of the house.

I can't even watch loser TV programmes at home because the kids are hogging the television and even the computer!

I tried for OMS the other day. SO SAD, I CAN'T BLOODY PLAY ANYMORE, SOBBBB.
I was practically cursing myself in my mind.
Izad told me to "be serious".
WAHH I KNOW LAH U CAN STILL PLAY. U STILL HAVE YOUR FREAKING EMBOUCHURE INTACT WHILE PATHETIC ME JUST LOST EVERYTHING I TOOK SIX YEARS TO MASTER.
It's fucking hard.
And you don't fucking know how I was affected by it. I was just cursing myself in every language I know. (I am naturally fluent in cursing in many languages.)
It was just, I don't know. I felt stupid having skipped band because of something so petty. I was fourteen, still immature and desperate to be heard(and not just seen), wanting to show my unhappiness to everyone. And I thought that by not attending practices, I am showing how unhappy I was with their unfair treatment towards me, when I should have just stayed on and try my best to resolve the issues that I was faced with. Sometimes, I thought I might as well not have joined the band, if all I wanted to do was not commit to it. It was irresponsible and childish of me, and at the end of the day, I have no one but myself to blame. I just watched as I foolishly threw everything I had learnt in the six years for something purely out of the moment. It was rash of me, and I regretted it.

I still have the picture of the five of us, Anisah, Han Yong, Joyce, Izad and me, forming a 'V' with Anisa at the center. I remembered that we were playing "I Have A Dream". It was speech Day and 5 days before Izad's birthday. That was when I was eleven. I remember the Westin performance, where we all got free ice-cream compliments from Westin Hotel. It was indeed an experience, the thunderous claps and the ambience of the grand ballroom. I loved it. I loved the crowds during NDP and SYF. I remember the SYF competition in 2001. We got Bronze. I remember the two songs so clearly! I remember the tears some of them shed (I happily walked out of the Conference building giggling with Joyce and laughing at those in tears) and I remember the disappointed faces. I wasn't one of them. Hah. With Joyce around, nothing was ever serious. Even during sectionals, we'd often sneak off to somewhere deserted and make jokes about others and just doing stupid things like blasting so loud on the trumpet. I remember her parents just as well, how they'd often make sure that Punch(her dog) was nowhere around the house whenever I come over and how they'd send me home. The pictures that I had in band were all thanks to her father's great photography skills and his generosity of always printing me a copy. It's sad that I hardly talk to her now. Wait, I don't ever talk to her now. I lost her number, all means of ever contacting her. I changed numbers at least four times since I left primary school, and that doesn't seem to help me anywhere in locating my long lost best friend.

I remember seeing Izad around Temasek, and I remember how Joyce and I rolled our eyes with exaggeration whenever we saw him walk past us. It became a habit, and soon I automatically give him that look too, everytime I see him. It was just funny, if I recall how I used to have a crush on him but hate him so much. He had always been a sucker, constantly sucking up to the instructors. I hated him for that. And I secretly used to think that his baby fats were cute. He used to be soooo fat. SUPER FAT. BABAT! Those days were so kiddish, but I liked it because it's so adorable. I mean, when you're young, everything's adorable. When you grow older, you become a pest. EEEEK. Okay. That aside, I loved those days. No politics!

I love my girlfriends. I'm blogging about this because I think they would really just freak out and think I'm interested in them(I AM SO NOT!) because they really are a bunch of people who would really come up with wild imaginations that are just sometimes highly unlikely.

Honestly, I think I love them because they don't judge me despite my very harsh judgements and my stubborn nature that refuses to take any other stand except my own(I know, I'm so annoying right).
HEY RAUDHA AND NANA ALMOST REFUSED TO TALK TO ME AFTER OUR DEBATE ON HOMOSEXUALS, OKAY.
But in the end they did, because they're my friends, and friends just have to talk to each other.
I ALSO LOVE SHAZIELAH, THE EVER CREATIVE GIRL WHO NEVER HOLD ANY GRUDGE, BUT PLAYS WITH HER CURRY INSTEAD AS THE DEBATE GETS HOTTER. SHE DOESN'T JUDGE, HAHA. Maybe that's because she is too distracted to even listen to what we're talking about. What a disturbed child.

Maybe I should really get a job, or something to do to fill my time meaningfully. I sound so out of point!
I was intending to write a moving tribute to my girlfriends, but I ended up mentioning stupid things and sounding so judgemental instead. Anything but a tribute, if you ask me.

I shan't play the lovesick girlfriend and write "loyal cantons of love" to my boyfriend on my blog, because I can tell that to his face.

Okay, anyway, my girlfriends are the best, and they're really great individuals. I dare say none of them are dumb, or anything along that line. They're fucking smart.

Nana knows (almost) every street and corner in Singapore at her fingertips, literally. She sometimes stares at them in an attempt to recall a particular location.
Tasha's just great at thinking. She's a great thinker. Even if you tell her a direct joke, she'll still think about it first. I mean, don't confuse intelligence with the speed of thinking. This girl's a genius.
Shazielah, the greatest woman on earth, who can easily bait people with her MP3. Can't help it. She's got all the good songs. Sometimes I find myself doing her bidding because she's just so powerful. She even got Tasha to buy all of us Uncle Toby's bars just by letting her listen to Temperature by Sean Paul. She's a great woman.
Raudha, the one person who constantly goes against me in our debates. It's like, if I'm the Pencadang, she'll automatically be the Pembangkang. But I love her all the same.

Wah. So nostalgic.
And rather off-tangent.
Heh.
Pardon me.