whilst walking home just now, i fell. i have no idea how i fell but yes, just entertain the thought that i fell for no apparent reason, and somehow i feel more injured than what the impact of the ground would have caused me.


i saw tyw today and i was so glad to see him after so long i actually pinched his cheeks and coloured his face with chalk. get better soon, you goon!


i miss not seeing malina in class! busy woman, tsk.


shazielah, good luck for the dance concert tomorrow! you'll burn the stage, i'm sure and sorry i couldn't come. it's my mum's birthday, as you know. and i won't get to see the girls either who's gonna be coming. :(


today was a good attempt at pp with rash despite the hovering dragonfly and the many other nonsense animals that bothered us. only listen to this: today was a good attempt.


i hate today but it was a good day, getting to know some of my sengkang neighbours, especially the chinese who made a failed attempt at speaking malay.


***
this would probably be a lengthy post full of ideas that are not linked to each other, so if you had a bad day and you feel jaded about the world, don't read. i don't wish to encourage such thoughts.

i don't know what to defend anymore; the fault or the truth?
i don't know where this is going but i miss you, all of you.
i want an answer but i don't know the question to ask.
i want to run, leap and soar but i can barely walk a mile.
it's a whole lot of things here on my mind but they all die undermined.
i want to do the right thing, but it involves doing something wrong.
somehow i just feel so cluttered and so guarded.
it's still pouring around here and the sun is still far away.



disappointments are like daily ocurrences because we can't control circumstances and the order of events but we can pre-empt or mitigate it. and when you are aware of an impending tragedy but give no notice or you know that something tragic has happened and you do nothing to make it less tragic, that's when you're being a disappointment, so let's all avoid disappointments and live with lesser (or ideally no) disappointments. see, it's all about mitigating the pain. if we can't eradicate something, we reduce it. as deb would say it, it's all about balance.


just when i feel like i'm going to die struggling, i suddenly found something and i realised that perhaps i'm not that weak afterall and that there's still that hope that someday, i will grow up taller, stronger and wise.
***

HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MOTHER!
You're not old, just more mature. :)

to you: go away, get a grip, be happy, but go away. you may call me fat, but i know i'm not fat.