For all that is worth, it's taking a toll on me. Because family drama aside, I am scared I'd be the victim in the stories. The one inflicted, not the one inflicting. And because of that sometimes I try to be the one inflicting, not because I meant to, but because I rather not be the other option.

Because it's easier to push someone away than try to keep alive something with an expiry date. If I was strong enough, I would take that risk.